Teaching Young Athletes to Advocate for Themselves

As athletes grow, expectations tend to increase.

Coaches may expect more independence.

Teachers may expect greater accountability.

Schedules often become more demanding.

One skill that gradually becomes important is learning how to communicate for oneself.

For many athletes, this is something they grow into — not something they automatically know how to do.

What Self-Advocacy Means in Youth Sports

Self-advocacy isn’t about arguing or pushing back.

It generally involves:

• asking questions when something is unclear

• communicating needs respectfully

• taking responsibility for decisions

• following through consistently

Research in youth development suggests that these skills are linked to confidence, motivation, and independence as responsibilities increase (Zimmerman, 2000).

Why This Skill Develops Over Time

As children move into adolescence, adults often step back naturally.

This transition creates opportunities for athletes to practice independence — including learning how to speak up appropriately in different settings.

Many families notice that modeling calm communication and encouraging preparation before conversations helps athletes feel more confident navigating these moments.

Research shows that adolescents tend to thrive when autonomy is supported alongside clear expectations (Steinberg, 2014).

Clarifying What Advocacy Is — and Isn’t

Understanding this distinction can reduce confusion.

Self-advocacy often looks like:

• asking for clarification

• communicating availability or concerns early

• following up on feedback

It generally does not involve:

• blaming others

• avoiding responsibility

• expecting special treatment

Clear communication tends to build trust with coaches, teachers, and teammates.

Supporting Growth Without Overstepping

Many parents notice that athletes learn most when they have space to:

• practice speaking up

• reflect on how conversations go

• learn from small missteps

Research on motivation suggests that feeling ownership over communication supports engagement and confidence, even when the process feels uncomfortable at first (Ryan & Deci, 2000).

Support here often looks like listening, discussing options, and reflecting — rather than directing outcomes.

Where This Fits

Self-advocacy connects to Life & Leadership, one of the four areas FortiFly uses to understand athlete growth.

The Growth Code helps families notice how comfortable athletes are asking questions, communicating needs, and taking ownership as expectations rise.

References

• Zimmerman, B. J. (2000). Attaining self-regulation: A social cognitive perspective. Handbook of Self-Regulation.
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 25(1), 54–67.
• Steinberg, L. (2014). Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
• Eccles, J. S., & Roeser, R. W. (2011). Schools as developmental contexts. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 21(1), 225–241.

A Quick Note: This post is designed to support learning and awareness. It is not intended to provide medical, psychological, nutritional, or coaching advice.